There are areas of all of our lives where lines which, while once very distinct, have blurred, faded or perhaps even shifted a bit. Since I can't think of a part of my life in which this has not happened, I'll share a few just to see if the resonate with anyone else.
There are the obvious lines such as Health. While I have worn glasses since I was about eight years old, I never had a problem seeing to read. At 25 or even 35, the words in books and newspapers were clear and crisp and I enjoyed not having to wear my glasses for such a wonderful and important part of my life. Let's click Fast Forward 10 years and see where we land....
Now I have two choices when it comes to reading: One, remove my glasses and hold the book, or iPad in some cases, right up to my face so that I can see the words clearly. Two, I can leave my glasses on but hold my iPad at an arm's length and hope I get most of what I'm reading right.
The worst of it, to me, is reading a label for ingredients. My husband has an allergy to a certain type of preservative which is used commonly in a variety of foods. Since, until very recently, I did all of the grocery shopping and cooking, it was, and is, important that I be able to check an ingredient label prior to purchasing or cooking certain items. For the better part of 20 years, Grocery shopping was one of the household duties I took great pride in and I had it down to a science. One of the keys to that science is NOT bringing anyone with me when I shop, but that's another story. Anyway, I could make it from my door, to the Grocery store, complete the shopping and pull back in the driveway in an hour and a half. Now, given the extra steps needed to actually read a label, it takes much more time. Horrifyingly enough, I have turned in to one of those people who stops every few feet, product in hand, glasses slid to the end of my nose, completely oblivious to the world around me while I read labels. It doesn't sound that bad but when you realize that world just happens to include a backup of about seven shopping carts in whatever aisle you've taken up residence, it starts to make you wonder if you've crossed some sort of line in life.
Being a "Cool" Mom. Those lines are getting blurrier by the second. I have a daughter in college and one in Junior High who I, of course, stalk on Facebook. Sometimes I even write a message or respond to one of the posts between each girl and her friends. I even do that to my Stepdaughters, poor things, and they're both in High School.
At the time I'm doing it, I think it's a small way for me to remain close with my daughter(s) as she makes her way to adulthood. Once I'm done and hit "Enter", it takes a few seconds but I almost feel embarrassed. How can I explain - remember what it was like to "drunk dial" someone? Don't say you haven't, we all have.....haven't we? Anyway, while it seems like a perfectly good idea at the time (in fact at times it's the best idea you ever had), when you wake up the next morning, reality kicks in.....right between the eyes where that headache is pounding what feels like drums of war. Oh, you may have a few seconds of blissful ignorance as you attempt to run your tongue over your teeth where it simply adheres because all saliva has been rerouted to the "Vomit Waiting Area". Once those few seconds pass, you remember what you've done and determine it was not a nightmare, there is regret. That's kind of like the regret I feel after one of those Facebook posts. The kids are very nice and are happy to have the odd comment exchange here and there but that's where the line gets blurry. It's starting to become difficult to see the line between 'My Mom is so great' and 'How do you restrict someone from your Facebook account?'
There are also less obvious lines that begin to blur in your forties such as clothing. At 45, which department do I shop in for clothes that don't make me A) look like my Grandmother or B) look like a mid-life crisis and car crash hybrid? When I was 35, I could still shop in the "Misses" departments and be comfortable in what I was wearing. I didn't feel like I had to head over to "Womens" to pick something up that would make me look like an Alfred Dunner model. There were limitations, of course but I consoled myself that, even at age 20, I wouldn't have paid for or worn a shirt that had literally been cut to shreds. Seriously, what is the point of those shirts? If you buy one, you just have to buy another to wear under the one that is missing half of it's original fabric. What does it all mean?
Also, I do a lot of shopping online where clothing sizes vary from company to company. I try to use the size charts but about five years ago I stopped looking at the waist as a point of measure. If I can get hips and chest right, I'm in pretty good shape. Gone are the days when my waist was significantly smaller than my hips. The days where my top half was a size 10 and my bottom half a size 4 or 6. Those were the good old days - back when I was one of those obnoxious people who took two bathing suits to try on in stores. I would bring two bikinis in to the dressing room where I would methodically mix and match the size 10 top to the size 4 bottom. I used to feel bad about it for a minute or two but now I look back on those days with a strange envy. It's one of those 'I wish I knew then what I know now' moments. I mean, those numbers look pretty impressive to me now but maybe I'm just not seeing them clearly......does that line look blurry to you?
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Jackson, Mississippi - Who'd Have Thunk It - Part 2....
The end of March and/or beginning of April are a fantastic time to be in Mississippi as far as the weather is concerned. It's not too hot or muggy, flowers are blooming, days are longer, etc., etc.. The perfect time to plan a visit from up North where things are still cold and there's probably even snow still on the ground.
What with settling in to the hotel and the travel debacle of the day before, I was too wound up to sleep and am guessing I got about an hour or so of shut-eye. Anyone who knows me understands that this is NOT a good thing. I wouldn't say that I'm purposefully mean or crabby but there's a sort of 'aura' around me. How can I describe it......hmmm....Okay, I've got it. Are you familiar with the movie "Jaws" starring Richard Dreyfus? Do you recall hearing the music as the shark would approach its next victim? Do you remember how that music made you feel? That's my aura when I'm operating on little or no sleep. So, not only did I have the 'first day jitters' but I had my psycho tired brain to deal with as well...this just didn't bode well for anyone.
My savior (who is one of the nicest people on the planet, by the way) and I walked out to her rental car, which I can still remember. It was a gold Ford Taurus sedan and it was brand spanking new. The odometer read "8" and it was just oozing that new car smell. It's funny the things you remember...
Anyway, we arrived at the office where she brought me to the appropriate folks and headed off to do her own thing. The amount of information thrown at me that morning was staggering and, what with my aura, I knew enough to take copious notes and was doing just fine. The trouble started when I had to use the ladies room (If I had a dime for every time I've said THAT....). Oh, it probably sounds harmless enough just laid out like that but, somehow, I found a way to be traumatized....
Perhaps I've led a sheltered life or perhaps, until that moment, I'd just been lucky but, until then, I had never heard someone have a cell phone conversation while using the facilities.
It started off much the same way as any office bathroom visit. I walked in, chose a stall, checked for TP availability as well as the cleanliness and stability of the seat. Next I locked the door, perched precariously and went about my business. It is worth noting here that men are fascinated by the "perch" or "hover" as some refer to it. Aside from ensuring that you grab the appropriate amount of TP PRIOR to perching, there's really nothing to it. Since, however, men can't seem fathom how women do it, it's one of the few things, aside from giving birth to a child, that make me feel superior.
Okay, so back to Jackson; I was in the ladies room and, not only was there a woman in the next stall (which is nerve wracking enough - really, I'm not a shoe cobbler. I don't want to be able to count the stitches on someone else's shoe or, given the venue, see something far worse), but seconds after I perched, she started talking in a normal, conversational manner:
Adjacent Stall Occupant (ASO): "Hey, how you doin'?".........
Now, at this point, I'm thinking that I should have paid attention to all of the talk about how warm and welcoming Southern folks can be. While it's uncomfortable for me, being a New Englander, I start to respond and it takes a few more questions before I realize that she is on the phone....in the bathroom.
Don't get me wrong, I have friends and have had many phone conversations with these friends. While out at a restaurant or bar, I've even gone to the ladies room at the same time as them. There is only one friend, however, who I will 'take to the bathroom' with me while we talk on the phone. I always warn her before I head in...
"Hey, just so you know, you're coming to the bathroom with me". Of course, I'll still mute the phone if I have enough warning that an unmistakable noise is about to happen. Seriously, what happens in the bathroom should stay in the bathroom. This business of cell phone conversations while in the bathroom made absolutely no sense to me but hey, I was in Mississippi, maybe it was just part of the culture there. For the record, there has only been one time since then where I observed that same behavior and it was in New Jersey so I'm not sure if it counts.
Just before noon, my savior appeared and asked if I was hungry and did I like Bar-B-Q. As the answer to both questions was 'Yes', we drove out to a little hole-in-the-wall place that came highly recommended by some of the local folks from the office. 'Good Southern food' they'd said. It was located on a gravel road that sloped down on either side forming two identical ditches. What was serving as a parking lot looked more like someone had just widened the road on both sides to indicate that cars could park there if they felt like stopping just then. There were two faded picnic tables in one corner of the parking lot, under the shade of a tree.
We went inside and ordered lunch, just listed as "BBQ" on the chalkboard, and brought it back out to the picnic tables. Once I sat down, I examined the contents of my Chinet plate. There was definitely BBQ pork on a roll as well as some Cole Slaw and a pickle but there was also a little puddle of something white-ish. The puddle had a pat of butter on top. Trying not to make myself look any more out of place, rather than ask, I opted to wait and see what my savior did with her puddle. She caught me looking, smiled and said something like 'Haven't you ever seen Grits?' Since she was also from north of the Mason Dixon lined, I wondered if this was some sort of trick question. "Well, yeah, but not in person". She chuckled, salt and peppered hers and said "They're good when they're cooked right. Sort of like Cream of Wheat". CREAM OF WHEAT??? But that's a breakfast food. Oh God, first the cell phone in the bathroom and now Cream of Wheat for lunch? 'What's next?' I wondered. Well, you know the saying "Be careful what you ask"?
As it turned out, those Grits must have been cooked right because I truly enjoyed them along with the rest of the food. We chit chatted, trying to get to know each other since we'd be working together quite a bit. It was just a lovely lunch and I was in a much improved mood as we got back in to the rental car to head for the office. We were still chatting when my savior put the car in reverse and started to back up.....and up....and up. Right out of the parking lot and part way in to the roadside ditch. It wasn't a long way down, nor was it even remotely dangerous and neither of us was hurt. The problem, it seemed, was that she had backed that brand new Taurus over a sort of big bump on the embankment where the frame of the car now rested. Both the front and back tires were in the air. Just barely in the air but that was enough. We got out of the car to take a look and I just started to laugh. Ya know, when you're tired and giddy and something just strikes you so funny that you can't stop laughing? Yeah, that was me along with everyone else who it seemed, until that moment, was in the restaurant. Whether they watched it happen or heard it, they all came out to look. Even the Cook came out to take a gander.
Well, there was absolutely nothing we could do on our own and as I started to look around for someone who might be able to help, there was a truck I hadn't noticed before. A truck with the Union Jack flying from it and a gun rack in it. At the same time I was noticing this, a man started to make his way from the crowd gathered in the parking lot over to said truck. A man wearing overalls and a baseball cap. It wasn't exactly how I'd envisioned it but it was close enough to make a cold shiver run down my spine. 'Think of the lady in the bathroom' I thought. 'Southerners are a warm and friendly people.....Oh God, does anyone else hear those banjos?' This thought process seemed to go on forever but it couldn't have been more than 15 or 20 seconds when I snapped out of it. The man started up the truck and maneuvered it over to the embankment where he tied one end of a rope to the back end of the truck and the other to the front of the Taurus. He climbed back in, put it in drive and tried to pull the car out but it was no good. Each time he'd try to move forward, the back tires of the truck would just spin. Even I could see it needed more weight in the back; so the cook and a couple of other guys hopped in the truck bed to weigh it down and that still wasn't enough.
You will likely find this as hard to believe as I did when it happened but I swear to God that this is true.
They asked me to jump in to the truck bed to help weigh it down. In heels. Wearing a brand new suit I bought special for my first day with the new company. Aside from the logistics, there were so many reasons that this terrified me, a woman in her 30's, not the least of which was that the damned plan worked. No, prior to that, several thoughts crossed my mind. Thoughts like 'Are they just going to get me in the back of the truck and take off?' and 'Would my savior follow in hot pursuit or would she just wash her hands of me and think that I deserved it for waking her up at 2:30 that morning? and finally, 'Why did I leave my cell phone in my purse.....which is in the Taurus?'
Maybe, if I took my phone with me everywhere I go (like that ASO from the bathroom), I'd have it on me and could actually dial 911 but, even if I did, what would I tell them?
'Hi, I'm being kidnapped by a man wearing overalls and a baseball cap and I'm in the back of a dark blue pickup truck' to which the Operator would giggle and reply:
'Do you know the make of the truck?'
'Well, no'
'Do you know the license plate number?'
'Not without climbing out of the moving truck to look'
'Can you tell me anything about the truck?'
'Yes. It's flying the Union Jack.' Upon hearing this, the Operator would likely pause, there'd be more giggling, and she'd say something like 'You talk kinda funny, you're not from around here, are you...?' and that would be the end of me.
Well, the 911 call never happened because, as mentioned previously, I apparently weighed enough to make the difference and the truck stopped immediately after successfully hauling the 8-mile-old Taurus out of the ditch. I climbed down out of the truck in my heels, dusting my suit off as I made my way back to the car. When I looked up toward the car, I saw my savior in the driver's seat with her head resting on the steering wheel. 'Oh God' I thought, 'She's really shaken up by all of this and must feel terrible about it happening on my very first day with the company'. I got in and looked over, prepared to console her and that's when I noticed that she was not distraught, nor was she crying or feeling bad at all. She was laughing. Laughing so hard, she wasn't making any noise at all. When she looked back at me, the tears were streaming down her face and she simply could not stop laughing. Well, I'm sure you know that laughter is a wonderfully contagious condition so the two of us spent the return trip to the office laughing, saying how we couldn't wait to share the story and that it had to rank right up there as one of the weirdest 'First Day with the Company' stories ever.
What with settling in to the hotel and the travel debacle of the day before, I was too wound up to sleep and am guessing I got about an hour or so of shut-eye. Anyone who knows me understands that this is NOT a good thing. I wouldn't say that I'm purposefully mean or crabby but there's a sort of 'aura' around me. How can I describe it......hmmm....Okay, I've got it. Are you familiar with the movie "Jaws" starring Richard Dreyfus? Do you recall hearing the music as the shark would approach its next victim? Do you remember how that music made you feel? That's my aura when I'm operating on little or no sleep. So, not only did I have the 'first day jitters' but I had my psycho tired brain to deal with as well...this just didn't bode well for anyone.
My savior (who is one of the nicest people on the planet, by the way) and I walked out to her rental car, which I can still remember. It was a gold Ford Taurus sedan and it was brand spanking new. The odometer read "8" and it was just oozing that new car smell. It's funny the things you remember...
Anyway, we arrived at the office where she brought me to the appropriate folks and headed off to do her own thing. The amount of information thrown at me that morning was staggering and, what with my aura, I knew enough to take copious notes and was doing just fine. The trouble started when I had to use the ladies room (If I had a dime for every time I've said THAT....). Oh, it probably sounds harmless enough just laid out like that but, somehow, I found a way to be traumatized....
Perhaps I've led a sheltered life or perhaps, until that moment, I'd just been lucky but, until then, I had never heard someone have a cell phone conversation while using the facilities.
It started off much the same way as any office bathroom visit. I walked in, chose a stall, checked for TP availability as well as the cleanliness and stability of the seat. Next I locked the door, perched precariously and went about my business. It is worth noting here that men are fascinated by the "perch" or "hover" as some refer to it. Aside from ensuring that you grab the appropriate amount of TP PRIOR to perching, there's really nothing to it. Since, however, men can't seem fathom how women do it, it's one of the few things, aside from giving birth to a child, that make me feel superior.
Okay, so back to Jackson; I was in the ladies room and, not only was there a woman in the next stall (which is nerve wracking enough - really, I'm not a shoe cobbler. I don't want to be able to count the stitches on someone else's shoe or, given the venue, see something far worse), but seconds after I perched, she started talking in a normal, conversational manner:
Adjacent Stall Occupant (ASO): "Hey, how you doin'?".........
Now, at this point, I'm thinking that I should have paid attention to all of the talk about how warm and welcoming Southern folks can be. While it's uncomfortable for me, being a New Englander, I start to respond and it takes a few more questions before I realize that she is on the phone....in the bathroom.
Don't get me wrong, I have friends and have had many phone conversations with these friends. While out at a restaurant or bar, I've even gone to the ladies room at the same time as them. There is only one friend, however, who I will 'take to the bathroom' with me while we talk on the phone. I always warn her before I head in...
"Hey, just so you know, you're coming to the bathroom with me". Of course, I'll still mute the phone if I have enough warning that an unmistakable noise is about to happen. Seriously, what happens in the bathroom should stay in the bathroom. This business of cell phone conversations while in the bathroom made absolutely no sense to me but hey, I was in Mississippi, maybe it was just part of the culture there. For the record, there has only been one time since then where I observed that same behavior and it was in New Jersey so I'm not sure if it counts.
Just before noon, my savior appeared and asked if I was hungry and did I like Bar-B-Q. As the answer to both questions was 'Yes', we drove out to a little hole-in-the-wall place that came highly recommended by some of the local folks from the office. 'Good Southern food' they'd said. It was located on a gravel road that sloped down on either side forming two identical ditches. What was serving as a parking lot looked more like someone had just widened the road on both sides to indicate that cars could park there if they felt like stopping just then. There were two faded picnic tables in one corner of the parking lot, under the shade of a tree.
We went inside and ordered lunch, just listed as "BBQ" on the chalkboard, and brought it back out to the picnic tables. Once I sat down, I examined the contents of my Chinet plate. There was definitely BBQ pork on a roll as well as some Cole Slaw and a pickle but there was also a little puddle of something white-ish. The puddle had a pat of butter on top. Trying not to make myself look any more out of place, rather than ask, I opted to wait and see what my savior did with her puddle. She caught me looking, smiled and said something like 'Haven't you ever seen Grits?' Since she was also from north of the Mason Dixon lined, I wondered if this was some sort of trick question. "Well, yeah, but not in person". She chuckled, salt and peppered hers and said "They're good when they're cooked right. Sort of like Cream of Wheat". CREAM OF WHEAT??? But that's a breakfast food. Oh God, first the cell phone in the bathroom and now Cream of Wheat for lunch? 'What's next?' I wondered. Well, you know the saying "Be careful what you ask"?
As it turned out, those Grits must have been cooked right because I truly enjoyed them along with the rest of the food. We chit chatted, trying to get to know each other since we'd be working together quite a bit. It was just a lovely lunch and I was in a much improved mood as we got back in to the rental car to head for the office. We were still chatting when my savior put the car in reverse and started to back up.....and up....and up. Right out of the parking lot and part way in to the roadside ditch. It wasn't a long way down, nor was it even remotely dangerous and neither of us was hurt. The problem, it seemed, was that she had backed that brand new Taurus over a sort of big bump on the embankment where the frame of the car now rested. Both the front and back tires were in the air. Just barely in the air but that was enough. We got out of the car to take a look and I just started to laugh. Ya know, when you're tired and giddy and something just strikes you so funny that you can't stop laughing? Yeah, that was me along with everyone else who it seemed, until that moment, was in the restaurant. Whether they watched it happen or heard it, they all came out to look. Even the Cook came out to take a gander.
Well, there was absolutely nothing we could do on our own and as I started to look around for someone who might be able to help, there was a truck I hadn't noticed before. A truck with the Union Jack flying from it and a gun rack in it. At the same time I was noticing this, a man started to make his way from the crowd gathered in the parking lot over to said truck. A man wearing overalls and a baseball cap. It wasn't exactly how I'd envisioned it but it was close enough to make a cold shiver run down my spine. 'Think of the lady in the bathroom' I thought. 'Southerners are a warm and friendly people.....Oh God, does anyone else hear those banjos?' This thought process seemed to go on forever but it couldn't have been more than 15 or 20 seconds when I snapped out of it. The man started up the truck and maneuvered it over to the embankment where he tied one end of a rope to the back end of the truck and the other to the front of the Taurus. He climbed back in, put it in drive and tried to pull the car out but it was no good. Each time he'd try to move forward, the back tires of the truck would just spin. Even I could see it needed more weight in the back; so the cook and a couple of other guys hopped in the truck bed to weigh it down and that still wasn't enough.
You will likely find this as hard to believe as I did when it happened but I swear to God that this is true.
They asked me to jump in to the truck bed to help weigh it down. In heels. Wearing a brand new suit I bought special for my first day with the new company. Aside from the logistics, there were so many reasons that this terrified me, a woman in her 30's, not the least of which was that the damned plan worked. No, prior to that, several thoughts crossed my mind. Thoughts like 'Are they just going to get me in the back of the truck and take off?' and 'Would my savior follow in hot pursuit or would she just wash her hands of me and think that I deserved it for waking her up at 2:30 that morning? and finally, 'Why did I leave my cell phone in my purse.....which is in the Taurus?'
Maybe, if I took my phone with me everywhere I go (like that ASO from the bathroom), I'd have it on me and could actually dial 911 but, even if I did, what would I tell them?
'Hi, I'm being kidnapped by a man wearing overalls and a baseball cap and I'm in the back of a dark blue pickup truck' to which the Operator would giggle and reply:
'Do you know the make of the truck?'
'Well, no'
'Do you know the license plate number?'
'Not without climbing out of the moving truck to look'
'Can you tell me anything about the truck?'
'Yes. It's flying the Union Jack.' Upon hearing this, the Operator would likely pause, there'd be more giggling, and she'd say something like 'You talk kinda funny, you're not from around here, are you...?' and that would be the end of me.
Well, the 911 call never happened because, as mentioned previously, I apparently weighed enough to make the difference and the truck stopped immediately after successfully hauling the 8-mile-old Taurus out of the ditch. I climbed down out of the truck in my heels, dusting my suit off as I made my way back to the car. When I looked up toward the car, I saw my savior in the driver's seat with her head resting on the steering wheel. 'Oh God' I thought, 'She's really shaken up by all of this and must feel terrible about it happening on my very first day with the company'. I got in and looked over, prepared to console her and that's when I noticed that she was not distraught, nor was she crying or feeling bad at all. She was laughing. Laughing so hard, she wasn't making any noise at all. When she looked back at me, the tears were streaming down her face and she simply could not stop laughing. Well, I'm sure you know that laughter is a wonderfully contagious condition so the two of us spent the return trip to the office laughing, saying how we couldn't wait to share the story and that it had to rank right up there as one of the weirdest 'First Day with the Company' stories ever.
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Jackson, Mississippi - Who'd Have Thunk It.....
Once upon a time, there was a woman who was starting a new job at a new company (Guess who?). I had just left a secure position (of five years) with a small, local company, that provided moderate pay and great benefits. While the new position and company provided an extremely healthy increase in pay, moderate benefits and a management position, it all hinged on a project that had been bid, but not yet won by the new, much larger Company. Nobody can ever say I didn't take the occasional risk.
If you have ever worked for a large company, you know that their rolls of 'Red Tape' are so big that they are stored in Warehouses. Once 'hired', actually getting in the door requires countless phone calls with faceless representatives of various facets of the company. There's Security for a background check, Technology to get the appropriate equipment up and running for your first day, Payroll, Benefits and, of course your friendly HR Rep. I'm sure there are others I have left out and hope they will accept my heartfelt apology in advance.
Where was I? Ah yes, the phone calls. On one of these calls, I learned that my very first day with this company would take place in Jackson, Mississippi at an office similar to the project I was bid on. I was speechless.....after all, I was born and raised in New England. The only trip 'South' I'd ever taken outside of Disneyworld was to Louisiana once...in July. Hotter than a snake's ass in a wagon rut and so humid I don't think my sweat ever knew if it was on the inside or outside of my body. Anyway, it's just as well I was speechless because I was referred to "Travel" where I would work with someone to make my flight and hotel reservations.
Before speaking with "Travel", I decided to go to the map.....O...M...G.....Jackson Mississippi is EIGHT. BILLION. MILES. AWAY. Aren't there a lot of swamps there? People who wear nothing but overalls and straw hats? Don't they have Red Clay Roads? Banjo music? People who fly the Union Jack from their truck antenna and hate Northerners? Of course, it wasn't reasonable for me to worry about any of these things. Yeah, "reasonable" had suddenly been in touch with "Travel" and booked a flight to Moscow.
Fast forward a bit to my big trip to Jackson. Initially, I was slated to arrive around 6:00 pm but, of course, my second flight got delayed. Alot. I landed somewhere between 11 pm and midnight to find there was a problem with my rental car. A problem as in, I couldn't get one because of a mix up with "Travel". It was about this time I was convinced a single look from me could sear holes in objects and people so I decided to head to the ladies room, splash some cold water on my face and regroup. HOLY CRAP! They have "Sharps" containers in the bathrooms!!! Even in the "Family Station" (yes, I checked). Let's do an inventory, shall we? I am a smallish woman, alone, no weaponry aside from my eyes and a rolling carry on suitcase in Jackson Mississippi at midnight. I can't get a rental car and have only one person's name from the office where I will be heading in about 7 hours.
GREAT! There are probably drug addicts lurking around, (carrying around babies in need of a diaper change) who are just looking for someone like me. Okay, Pam. Calm down. Deep breaths....breathe iiiiinnnnn pink.........and out bluuuuuue...... Alright, find a phone, call the hotel and ask for this one person whose name you have.
Pam: Hi, could I please speak to Jane Doe (see how I'm protecting her identity?)
Hotel Chick: What room number is she at?
Pam: Oh, I don't know.
Hotel Chick: Ah'm sorry Ma'am but Ah cain't connect you if you don't have her room number.
(Insert here, the noise of something snapping)
Pam: Alright. I have been in and out of airports all day. Tomorrow, I mean today, is my first day with a new company; my flights were delayed; they didn't have a rental car for me; I don't know a soul and, for God sake, I'm from New Hampshire. I. Need. To. Talk. To. Jane. Doe. Now...................Please.
Hotel Chick: Well, Ah'll trah her room and ask if it's okay to put you through.
Pam(through gritted teeth): That would be lovely. Thank you.
As you can imagine, Jane Doe accepted the call, ordered a taxi and I arrived at the hotel around 2:30 am. Now I had, roughly, 4 1/2 hours to get settled in, sleep, shower and get ready, have breakfast, and get to work. As I fell on the bed, I recall having clear visions of "Reasonable" with a furry hat and bad teeth, laughing it's ass off in a Russian accent while drinking really expensive vodka that was being charged to my hotel room.
To Be Continued with "My First Day, what else can go wrong".........
If you have ever worked for a large company, you know that their rolls of 'Red Tape' are so big that they are stored in Warehouses. Once 'hired', actually getting in the door requires countless phone calls with faceless representatives of various facets of the company. There's Security for a background check, Technology to get the appropriate equipment up and running for your first day, Payroll, Benefits and, of course your friendly HR Rep. I'm sure there are others I have left out and hope they will accept my heartfelt apology in advance.
Where was I? Ah yes, the phone calls. On one of these calls, I learned that my very first day with this company would take place in Jackson, Mississippi at an office similar to the project I was bid on. I was speechless.....after all, I was born and raised in New England. The only trip 'South' I'd ever taken outside of Disneyworld was to Louisiana once...in July. Hotter than a snake's ass in a wagon rut and so humid I don't think my sweat ever knew if it was on the inside or outside of my body. Anyway, it's just as well I was speechless because I was referred to "Travel" where I would work with someone to make my flight and hotel reservations.
Before speaking with "Travel", I decided to go to the map.....O...M...G.....Jackson Mississippi is EIGHT. BILLION. MILES. AWAY. Aren't there a lot of swamps there? People who wear nothing but overalls and straw hats? Don't they have Red Clay Roads? Banjo music? People who fly the Union Jack from their truck antenna and hate Northerners? Of course, it wasn't reasonable for me to worry about any of these things. Yeah, "reasonable" had suddenly been in touch with "Travel" and booked a flight to Moscow.
Fast forward a bit to my big trip to Jackson. Initially, I was slated to arrive around 6:00 pm but, of course, my second flight got delayed. Alot. I landed somewhere between 11 pm and midnight to find there was a problem with my rental car. A problem as in, I couldn't get one because of a mix up with "Travel". It was about this time I was convinced a single look from me could sear holes in objects and people so I decided to head to the ladies room, splash some cold water on my face and regroup. HOLY CRAP! They have "Sharps" containers in the bathrooms!!! Even in the "Family Station" (yes, I checked). Let's do an inventory, shall we? I am a smallish woman, alone, no weaponry aside from my eyes and a rolling carry on suitcase in Jackson Mississippi at midnight. I can't get a rental car and have only one person's name from the office where I will be heading in about 7 hours.
GREAT! There are probably drug addicts lurking around, (carrying around babies in need of a diaper change) who are just looking for someone like me. Okay, Pam. Calm down. Deep breaths....breathe iiiiinnnnn pink.........and out bluuuuuue...... Alright, find a phone, call the hotel and ask for this one person whose name you have.
Pam: Hi, could I please speak to Jane Doe (see how I'm protecting her identity?)
Hotel Chick: What room number is she at?
Pam: Oh, I don't know.
Hotel Chick: Ah'm sorry Ma'am but Ah cain't connect you if you don't have her room number.
(Insert here, the noise of something snapping)
Pam: Alright. I have been in and out of airports all day. Tomorrow, I mean today, is my first day with a new company; my flights were delayed; they didn't have a rental car for me; I don't know a soul and, for God sake, I'm from New Hampshire. I. Need. To. Talk. To. Jane. Doe. Now...................Please.
Hotel Chick: Well, Ah'll trah her room and ask if it's okay to put you through.
Pam(through gritted teeth): That would be lovely. Thank you.
As you can imagine, Jane Doe accepted the call, ordered a taxi and I arrived at the hotel around 2:30 am. Now I had, roughly, 4 1/2 hours to get settled in, sleep, shower and get ready, have breakfast, and get to work. As I fell on the bed, I recall having clear visions of "Reasonable" with a furry hat and bad teeth, laughing it's ass off in a Russian accent while drinking really expensive vodka that was being charged to my hotel room.
To Be Continued with "My First Day, what else can go wrong".........
Saturday, April 2, 2011
What if we won Megabucks...
Have you ever wondered what it would be like to win Megabucks? Actually dreamed and planned of what you would do with all of that money? It's a game we play, on occasion, at our house. It usually follows a rough day at work or at school. Typically, it starts out very noble and rational but quickly devolves in to infectious silliness. Either way, it's better than a board game and most of us can't resist joining in eventually.
For example, the other night we had just such a conversation. It, of course, started out with things like making sure everyone in the family is taken care of financially. Next up were the luxury items - a house in Hawaii, a private plane, an outdoor jacuzzi that seats 20 people, a Canine Rescue Preserve and the old standby of investing in land. My personal favorite from one of my kids that night went like this:
"We should buy the Lays company" she said, completely serious. The rest of us eyed each other warily. "What did you say?" we asked.
"We should buy the Lays company". Again, we glance at each other as I proceeded with caution...
"Do you mean you want to buy the Lays potato chip company?"
"Yeah" she said and I waited for a beat or two because I am reaching the age where, sometimes, things just don't make sense when they first hit the gray matter.......nope, nothing.
Okay, I'll try "Why?" for 500 Alex...
"I'm serious. Have you ever noticed how they always sell out of those things every day? We could make a MINT!"
Now, this was one of those parental moments where I could take the high road or the low road. The high road, of course, is to help cultivate the idea of investing money, rather than just spending it. The low road, on the other hand, was to blow it apart like one of those green pigs on the Angry Birds game.
Angry Birds Piggies Why T-Shirt Size : Large
I'd like you to consider, for a moment, which path I took...
And here we go:
'Oh my God! We could totally use the chips to feed the dogs at the rescue preserve!! Dogs like chips, right? And if we invest in land, we should plant potatoes on it so we don't have to buy any potatoes! THIS IS GONNA BE GREAT! Not only will our family have lots of money, they'll also have plenty of chips and never be subject to a Lays potato chip drought again!!'
Does that make me a bad parent? I don't think so. I think it makes my kids 'well rounded'. Unfortunately, my kids tend to disagree and, by this time, not only had I received the 'death glare' but everyone else had left the room and I was left talking to do the dogs who wanted to hear more about getting potato chips added to their diet.
Well, we haven't yet won Megabucks but when we do, there are going to be a LOT of happy dogs in our corner of the world.
For example, the other night we had just such a conversation. It, of course, started out with things like making sure everyone in the family is taken care of financially. Next up were the luxury items - a house in Hawaii, a private plane, an outdoor jacuzzi that seats 20 people, a Canine Rescue Preserve and the old standby of investing in land. My personal favorite from one of my kids that night went like this:
"We should buy the Lays company" she said, completely serious. The rest of us eyed each other warily. "What did you say?" we asked.
"We should buy the Lays company". Again, we glance at each other as I proceeded with caution...
"Do you mean you want to buy the Lays potato chip company?"
"Yeah" she said and I waited for a beat or two because I am reaching the age where, sometimes, things just don't make sense when they first hit the gray matter.......nope, nothing.
Okay, I'll try "Why?" for 500 Alex...
"I'm serious. Have you ever noticed how they always sell out of those things every day? We could make a MINT!"
Now, this was one of those parental moments where I could take the high road or the low road. The high road, of course, is to help cultivate the idea of investing money, rather than just spending it. The low road, on the other hand, was to blow it apart like one of those green pigs on the Angry Birds game.
Angry Birds Piggies Why T-Shirt Size : Large
I'd like you to consider, for a moment, which path I took...
And here we go:
'Oh my God! We could totally use the chips to feed the dogs at the rescue preserve!! Dogs like chips, right? And if we invest in land, we should plant potatoes on it so we don't have to buy any potatoes! THIS IS GONNA BE GREAT! Not only will our family have lots of money, they'll also have plenty of chips and never be subject to a Lays potato chip drought again!!'
Does that make me a bad parent? I don't think so. I think it makes my kids 'well rounded'. Unfortunately, my kids tend to disagree and, by this time, not only had I received the 'death glare' but everyone else had left the room and I was left talking to do the dogs who wanted to hear more about getting potato chips added to their diet.
Well, we haven't yet won Megabucks but when we do, there are going to be a LOT of happy dogs in our corner of the world.
Monday, February 14, 2011
Vacation - 101
Based on how youthful I look in the picture on my blog (cough, cough), it may be difficult for anyone to believe I have a daughter who is an adult.
It's now five minutes later and I've just now recovered from the shock of seeing that in print. It's true, though, my eldest is now 18 years old and as a big gift for her, we are taking a trip to a beach resort in a couple of weeks. ALRIGHT! It's as much a gift to me as it is to her - I admit it. Anyway, I started the countdown of days some time ago and now that we have dropped below 20 days, I'm starting lists and getting ready to pack.
Whenever I travel with other folks, they always seem to be amazed at how efficiently I pack. I've decided it's really not so much that I excel at it, it's just they really suck at it. So, I'm considering giving a class - "Vacation 101". The Syllabus includes such items as:
- Pack for yourself, not a Pack Mule: You do NOT need to have a 1:1 ratio of items to days for anything except underwear. Underwear is the exception to the rule because it takes up very little space and bringing an extra pair gives you the security of keeping your Mother's voice at bay ('What if you get in to an accident?!?'). Heck, if you wear thongs, live on the edge and bring a few extra - they take up no more room in the suitcase than your average tissue so I say have at it! For those of us over the age of 30, one extra pair should suffice.
- Given the choice, an airline WILL lose your luggage (and laugh while they're doing it): Why, if you don't have to, would you risk heading for St. Thomas while your bags take the scenic tour by way of Anchorage? If your trip is 5 days or less, there is NO reason you can't make use of a carry-on bag and a big purse (sorry guys).
- If you are traveling by plane, there is at least an 80% chance that you will not know a living soul when you get off the plane. Feel free to bring only one bathing suit on a beach vacation, one ski jacket on a ski vacation. Listen to this carefully: NOBODY CARES HOW MANY BATHING SUITS YOU HAVE! Besides, having more than one set of tan lines removes the "Wow!" factor when you get home.
- Jewelry is a thief magnet - you don't need it! Consider this, if you are swimming, sunning, exercising, skiing, golfing, eating, bathing or sleeping, what good does jewelry do? Swimming - lose it in the water. Sunning - reflects the sun and blinds pilots of low flying planes. Exercising - bounces up and down causing God only knows what kind of damage. Skiing - Do you have any idea how COLD metal gets?
Golfing - How can you possibly get a good grip with all of that bling in the way? Eating - Ever prepare and eat a boiled lobster? Any jewelry on you or those within a 10 foot radius will smell like seafood for a week afterwards. Bathing - One word. Drain. Sleeping - If you're anything like me, your fingers swell at night - need I say more?
Using reason when considering the above topics the average traveler will remove at least 10 pounds from their suitcase before they even leave the house. Trust me.
It's now five minutes later and I've just now recovered from the shock of seeing that in print. It's true, though, my eldest is now 18 years old and as a big gift for her, we are taking a trip to a beach resort in a couple of weeks. ALRIGHT! It's as much a gift to me as it is to her - I admit it. Anyway, I started the countdown of days some time ago and now that we have dropped below 20 days, I'm starting lists and getting ready to pack.
Whenever I travel with other folks, they always seem to be amazed at how efficiently I pack. I've decided it's really not so much that I excel at it, it's just they really suck at it. So, I'm considering giving a class - "Vacation 101". The Syllabus includes such items as:
- Pack for yourself, not a Pack Mule: You do NOT need to have a 1:1 ratio of items to days for anything except underwear. Underwear is the exception to the rule because it takes up very little space and bringing an extra pair gives you the security of keeping your Mother's voice at bay ('What if you get in to an accident?!?'). Heck, if you wear thongs, live on the edge and bring a few extra - they take up no more room in the suitcase than your average tissue so I say have at it! For those of us over the age of 30, one extra pair should suffice.
- Given the choice, an airline WILL lose your luggage (and laugh while they're doing it): Why, if you don't have to, would you risk heading for St. Thomas while your bags take the scenic tour by way of Anchorage? If your trip is 5 days or less, there is NO reason you can't make use of a carry-on bag and a big purse (sorry guys).
- If you are traveling by plane, there is at least an 80% chance that you will not know a living soul when you get off the plane. Feel free to bring only one bathing suit on a beach vacation, one ski jacket on a ski vacation. Listen to this carefully: NOBODY CARES HOW MANY BATHING SUITS YOU HAVE! Besides, having more than one set of tan lines removes the "Wow!" factor when you get home.
- Jewelry is a thief magnet - you don't need it! Consider this, if you are swimming, sunning, exercising, skiing, golfing, eating, bathing or sleeping, what good does jewelry do? Swimming - lose it in the water. Sunning - reflects the sun and blinds pilots of low flying planes. Exercising - bounces up and down causing God only knows what kind of damage. Skiing - Do you have any idea how COLD metal gets?
Golfing - How can you possibly get a good grip with all of that bling in the way? Eating - Ever prepare and eat a boiled lobster? Any jewelry on you or those within a 10 foot radius will smell like seafood for a week afterwards. Bathing - One word. Drain. Sleeping - If you're anything like me, your fingers swell at night - need I say more?
Using reason when considering the above topics the average traveler will remove at least 10 pounds from their suitcase before they even leave the house. Trust me.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
This should be on every U.S. Citizen's 'Bucket List'...
One week, last fall, we received word that my ten year old daughter and her class would be attending a Naturalization Ceremony at the Federal Court House here in Concord.
She arrived home from school and, with the enthusiasm and energy only a child can display, blurted out that not only would her class be attending the Ceremony but that she and one other student 'won' the chance to lead the Pledge of Allegiance alongside the presiding Judge!
In case you are interested, we did go and buy her a new dress and shoes for the occasion. After giving the thumbs down on countless dresses running the spectrum from strapless to bustier style, we settled on a very cute gray dress adorned with glass beads and a pair of black and cream ballet flats.
Fast forward to the big morning; my daughter was up before the alarm (unheard of these days), ate breakfast, showered, had her hair and teeth brushed and backpack ready to go with five minutes to spare. Again, since we're typically giving a countdown to 'The Bus' that would rival NASA, it was clear this was a big day for her.
The ceremony was scheduled to start at 9:00. At 8:45, I arrived and as I walked up the granite stairs and entered through the revolving door, it occurred to me that I'd never been in the Federal Court House before. Lots of first impressions but mostly, and especially in light of the reason for being there, I was simply in awe. It was a type of awakening and realization of the fact that, in forty four years, I'd never once been involved in or observed this process. Then there was the two-story high bronze statue with the Scales of Justice. It was a very significant moment for me that would pale, moments later, when I walked in to the Court Room atop the stairs...
It's a huge room, beautifully appointed with stone and wood. This room was absolutely full. There was a panel of folks providing representation from various sectors. There were folks from The Elks Club, from the American Legion, the U.S. Senate and even the Governor himself was there. Aside from the esteemed panel, there were probably two to three hundred guests and family members who'd come to bear witness. Off to one side were Faith's classmates and her teacher. Most important was the group of people who humbled what had just been a very significant moment in my life. The 80-plus people, representing 39 different countries. As I sat waiting for the ceremony to start, I imagined how each person must have had an incredible story to tell. Perhaps stories of a painful past, hardships, persecution, love lost, love gained and all had one common thread: A wish, dream or desire for life in the United State of America. It is not an easy process for someone to go through and it takes great perseverance and dedication. Logically, I could only conclude that passion was woven throughout the group as well.
Making these observations, I felt warmth. Not the kind that screams of hundreds of people in a room with no ventilation. It was the kind that makes you feel like you're being hugged. The kind that makes you feel a part of something else and, in this case, something much, much bigger than yourself.
Governor Lynch approached Faith's class and started chatting with them. Camera flashes started going off and I silently cursed myself for not even trying to bring in a camera (I was uncertain of the security regulations, so I left it at home). Then I wondered if it was okay to curse silently in the Federal Court House.
Upon the entry of a few clerks at the front of the Court, the room quieted, save the occasional chatter of those too young to understand the significance of what was about to happen. For the first time, I noticed two women with strong, ebony faces who were wearing the most beautiful head and body dresses. They were absolutely stunning and the emotion and pride emanating from them was tangible. Sounds hokey, but there you have it. And the mist started rolling in...
We were ordered to rise as the judge was announced and entered the room to take his seat. He gave a heartwarming welcome to all in the room. He spoke of the significance of the ceremony, the commitment of the 80-plus people and their families. He talked about the core values of our country, what we stand for, how we came to be and why we are so strong today. His tone changed only slightly when he mentioned those who attempt to divide our country and those who try to destroy what we, as American citizens have built, support, love and honor. He gave a clear and unwavering promise that American citizens have and will ALWAYS stand shoulder to shoulder in defense of any threat. He finished this salutation by emphasizing the importance of the gift and responsibility each of these people were receiving today.
After introducing the esteemed guests, as well as my daughter's class, he asked each of the Immigrants to rise and repeat the “Oath of Allegiance” after him. Two things struck me; First, the voices were strong and sure as they repeated every word, in a language not native to them, with their right hands raised. Second, some court room staff, I don't know their titles or roles, walked around the group, ensuring that right hands were (in fact) raised and everyone was standing. The mist was turning to drizzle....
Next, the judge announced that the fifth grade class would be singing two songs to mark the occasion. The voices that came out of these kids were beautiful. Now, I always get choked up at the National Anthem at athletic events and such but this was VERY different. As this group of kids sang God Bless America and This Land is Your Land, tears of pride streamed down my face and, unlike my typical behavior, I didn't wipe them away. Even if they weren't looking, I wanted to display how an 'every day' American Citizen is moved by the society in which we live, what we stand for and how lucky we really are. One of the men from the American Legion (79 years old at his own admission) walked to the podium and sang The Star Spangled Banner, Every person in the room stood, hands over hearts, and sang with such emotion that the waterworks, at this point, were full on.
When all was said and done, I walked out of the Court House with a lighter step and my head held a bit higher. I felt absolute pride in my daughter's small role in the ceremony, and overall pride in our country and it's 80-plus brand new citizens!!
She arrived home from school and, with the enthusiasm and energy only a child can display, blurted out that not only would her class be attending the Ceremony but that she and one other student 'won' the chance to lead the Pledge of Allegiance alongside the presiding Judge!
In case you are interested, we did go and buy her a new dress and shoes for the occasion. After giving the thumbs down on countless dresses running the spectrum from strapless to bustier style, we settled on a very cute gray dress adorned with glass beads and a pair of black and cream ballet flats.
Fast forward to the big morning; my daughter was up before the alarm (unheard of these days), ate breakfast, showered, had her hair and teeth brushed and backpack ready to go with five minutes to spare. Again, since we're typically giving a countdown to 'The Bus' that would rival NASA, it was clear this was a big day for her.
The ceremony was scheduled to start at 9:00. At 8:45, I arrived and as I walked up the granite stairs and entered through the revolving door, it occurred to me that I'd never been in the Federal Court House before. Lots of first impressions but mostly, and especially in light of the reason for being there, I was simply in awe. It was a type of awakening and realization of the fact that, in forty four years, I'd never once been involved in or observed this process. Then there was the two-story high bronze statue with the Scales of Justice. It was a very significant moment for me that would pale, moments later, when I walked in to the Court Room atop the stairs...
It's a huge room, beautifully appointed with stone and wood. This room was absolutely full. There was a panel of folks providing representation from various sectors. There were folks from The Elks Club, from the American Legion, the U.S. Senate and even the Governor himself was there. Aside from the esteemed panel, there were probably two to three hundred guests and family members who'd come to bear witness. Off to one side were Faith's classmates and her teacher. Most important was the group of people who humbled what had just been a very significant moment in my life. The 80-plus people, representing 39 different countries. As I sat waiting for the ceremony to start, I imagined how each person must have had an incredible story to tell. Perhaps stories of a painful past, hardships, persecution, love lost, love gained and all had one common thread: A wish, dream or desire for life in the United State of America. It is not an easy process for someone to go through and it takes great perseverance and dedication. Logically, I could only conclude that passion was woven throughout the group as well.
Making these observations, I felt warmth. Not the kind that screams of hundreds of people in a room with no ventilation. It was the kind that makes you feel like you're being hugged. The kind that makes you feel a part of something else and, in this case, something much, much bigger than yourself.
Governor Lynch approached Faith's class and started chatting with them. Camera flashes started going off and I silently cursed myself for not even trying to bring in a camera (I was uncertain of the security regulations, so I left it at home). Then I wondered if it was okay to curse silently in the Federal Court House.
Upon the entry of a few clerks at the front of the Court, the room quieted, save the occasional chatter of those too young to understand the significance of what was about to happen. For the first time, I noticed two women with strong, ebony faces who were wearing the most beautiful head and body dresses. They were absolutely stunning and the emotion and pride emanating from them was tangible. Sounds hokey, but there you have it. And the mist started rolling in...
We were ordered to rise as the judge was announced and entered the room to take his seat. He gave a heartwarming welcome to all in the room. He spoke of the significance of the ceremony, the commitment of the 80-plus people and their families. He talked about the core values of our country, what we stand for, how we came to be and why we are so strong today. His tone changed only slightly when he mentioned those who attempt to divide our country and those who try to destroy what we, as American citizens have built, support, love and honor. He gave a clear and unwavering promise that American citizens have and will ALWAYS stand shoulder to shoulder in defense of any threat. He finished this salutation by emphasizing the importance of the gift and responsibility each of these people were receiving today.
After introducing the esteemed guests, as well as my daughter's class, he asked each of the Immigrants to rise and repeat the “Oath of Allegiance” after him. Two things struck me; First, the voices were strong and sure as they repeated every word, in a language not native to them, with their right hands raised. Second, some court room staff, I don't know their titles or roles, walked around the group, ensuring that right hands were (in fact) raised and everyone was standing. The mist was turning to drizzle....
Next, the judge announced that the fifth grade class would be singing two songs to mark the occasion. The voices that came out of these kids were beautiful. Now, I always get choked up at the National Anthem at athletic events and such but this was VERY different. As this group of kids sang God Bless America and This Land is Your Land, tears of pride streamed down my face and, unlike my typical behavior, I didn't wipe them away. Even if they weren't looking, I wanted to display how an 'every day' American Citizen is moved by the society in which we live, what we stand for and how lucky we really are. One of the men from the American Legion (79 years old at his own admission) walked to the podium and sang The Star Spangled Banner, Every person in the room stood, hands over hearts, and sang with such emotion that the waterworks, at this point, were full on.
When all was said and done, I walked out of the Court House with a lighter step and my head held a bit higher. I felt absolute pride in my daughter's small role in the ceremony, and overall pride in our country and it's 80-plus brand new citizens!!
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Idiots. All of us.
This morning, I found myself having a deep, meaningful conversation with a friend via Facebook comments. That part really isn't important. What is important is it caused me to reflect on decisions and choices I've made throughout my life.
For example, with an allegedly ginormous storm headed our direction, I wondered about the decision to stay, and raise my kids in New England. At first I thought, I love the change of the seasons and I'd miss it if I moved somewhere more temperate. Then I thought about the smell of wood smoke, hanging in the air from November to April - I love that smell. Next up was going to our camp in the summer - I'm sure it wouldn't be half as meaningful if I could swim in the local body of water for more than two weeks out of the year. I'd probably get spoiled and who wants that? Everyone knows water temps above 70 degrees are for sissies.
These and other things lazily crossed my mind until I actually snapped out of it and said to myself 'What, are you an idiot?' The resounding answer was absofrigginglutely.
Let's make this interactive and do a little word association. You comment with something you like about New England and I'll respond with something I like about, oh I don't know, Hawaii.
Ready? GO!
For example, with an allegedly ginormous storm headed our direction, I wondered about the decision to stay, and raise my kids in New England. At first I thought, I love the change of the seasons and I'd miss it if I moved somewhere more temperate. Then I thought about the smell of wood smoke, hanging in the air from November to April - I love that smell. Next up was going to our camp in the summer - I'm sure it wouldn't be half as meaningful if I could swim in the local body of water for more than two weeks out of the year. I'd probably get spoiled and who wants that? Everyone knows water temps above 70 degrees are for sissies.
These and other things lazily crossed my mind until I actually snapped out of it and said to myself 'What, are you an idiot?' The resounding answer was absofrigginglutely.
Let's make this interactive and do a little word association. You comment with something you like about New England and I'll respond with something I like about, oh I don't know, Hawaii.
Ready? GO!
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