Vacation - 101

Based on how youthful I look in the picture on my blog (cough, cough), it may be difficult for anyone to believe I have a daughter who is an adult.

It's now five minutes later and I've just now recovered from the shock of seeing that in print. It's true, though, my eldest is now 18 years old and as a big gift for her, we are taking a trip to a beach resort in a couple of weeks. ALRIGHT! It's as much a gift to me as it is to her - I admit it. Anyway, I started the countdown of days some time ago and now that we have dropped below 20 days, I'm starting lists and getting ready to pack.

Whenever I travel with other folks, they always seem to be amazed at how efficiently I pack. I've decided it's really not so much that I excel at it, it's just they really suck at it. So, I'm considering giving a class - "Vacation 101". The Syllabus includes such items as:
- Pack for yourself, not a Pack Mule: You do NOT need to have a 1:1 ratio of items to days for anything except underwear. Underwear is the exception to the rule because it takes up very little space and bringing an extra pair gives you the security of keeping your Mother's voice at bay ('What if you get in to an accident?!?'). Heck, if you wear thongs, live on the edge and bring a few extra - they take up no more room in the suitcase than your average tissue so I say have at it! For those of us over the age of 30, one extra pair should suffice.
- Given the choice, an airline WILL lose your luggage (and laugh while they're doing it): Why, if you don't have to, would you risk heading for St. Thomas while your bags take the scenic tour by way of Anchorage? If your trip is 5 days or less, there is NO reason you can't make use of a carry-on bag and a big purse (sorry guys).
- If you are traveling by plane, there is at least an 80% chance that you will not know a living soul when you get off the plane. Feel free to bring only one bathing suit on a beach vacation, one ski jacket on a ski vacation. Listen to this carefully: NOBODY CARES HOW MANY BATHING SUITS YOU HAVE! Besides, having more than one set of tan lines removes the "Wow!" factor when you get home.
- Jewelry is a thief magnet - you don't need it! Consider this, if you are swimming, sunning, exercising, skiing, golfing, eating, bathing or sleeping, what good does jewelry do? Swimming - lose it in the water. Sunning - reflects the sun and blinds pilots of low flying planes. Exercising - bounces up and down causing God only knows what kind of damage. Skiing - Do you have any idea how COLD metal gets?
Golfing - How can you possibly get a good grip with all of that bling in the way? Eating - Ever prepare and eat a boiled lobster? Any jewelry on you or those within a 10 foot radius will smell like seafood for a week afterwards. Bathing - One word. Drain. Sleeping - If you're anything like me, your fingers swell at night - need I say more?

Using reason when considering the above topics the average traveler will remove at least 10 pounds from their suitcase before they even leave the house. Trust me.