Once upon a time, there was a woman who was starting a new job at a new company (Guess who?). I had just left a secure position (of five years) with a small, local company, that provided moderate pay and great benefits. While the new position and company provided an extremely healthy increase in pay, moderate benefits and a management position, it all hinged on a project that had been bid, but not yet won by the new, much larger Company. Nobody can ever say I didn't take the occasional risk.
If you have ever worked for a large company, you know that their rolls of 'Red Tape' are so big that they are stored in Warehouses. Once 'hired', actually getting in the door requires countless phone calls with faceless representatives of various facets of the company. There's Security for a background check, Technology to get the appropriate equipment up and running for your first day, Payroll, Benefits and, of course your friendly HR Rep. I'm sure there are others I have left out and hope they will accept my heartfelt apology in advance.
Where was I? Ah yes, the phone calls. On one of these calls, I learned that my very first day with this company would take place in Jackson, Mississippi at an office similar to the project I was bid on. I was speechless.....after all, I was born and raised in New England. The only trip 'South' I'd ever taken outside of Disneyworld was to Louisiana once...in July. Hotter than a snake's ass in a wagon rut and so humid I don't think my sweat ever knew if it was on the inside or outside of my body. Anyway, it's just as well I was speechless because I was referred to "Travel" where I would work with someone to make my flight and hotel reservations.
Before speaking with "Travel", I decided to go to the map.....O...M...G.....Jackson Mississippi is EIGHT. BILLION. MILES. AWAY. Aren't there a lot of swamps there? People who wear nothing but overalls and straw hats? Don't they have Red Clay Roads? Banjo music? People who fly the Union Jack from their truck antenna and hate Northerners? Of course, it wasn't reasonable for me to worry about any of these things. Yeah, "reasonable" had suddenly been in touch with "Travel" and booked a flight to Moscow.
Fast forward a bit to my big trip to Jackson. Initially, I was slated to arrive around 6:00 pm but, of course, my second flight got delayed. Alot. I landed somewhere between 11 pm and midnight to find there was a problem with my rental car. A problem as in, I couldn't get one because of a mix up with "Travel". It was about this time I was convinced a single look from me could sear holes in objects and people so I decided to head to the ladies room, splash some cold water on my face and regroup. HOLY CRAP! They have "Sharps" containers in the bathrooms!!! Even in the "Family Station" (yes, I checked). Let's do an inventory, shall we? I am a smallish woman, alone, no weaponry aside from my eyes and a rolling carry on suitcase in Jackson Mississippi at midnight. I can't get a rental car and have only one person's name from the office where I will be heading in about 7 hours.
GREAT! There are probably drug addicts lurking around, (carrying around babies in need of a diaper change) who are just looking for someone like me. Okay, Pam. Calm down. Deep breaths....breathe iiiiinnnnn pink.........and out bluuuuuue...... Alright, find a phone, call the hotel and ask for this one person whose name you have.
Pam: Hi, could I please speak to Jane Doe (see how I'm protecting her identity?)
Hotel Chick: What room number is she at?
Pam: Oh, I don't know.
Hotel Chick: Ah'm sorry Ma'am but Ah cain't connect you if you don't have her room number.
(Insert here, the noise of something snapping)
Pam: Alright. I have been in and out of airports all day. Tomorrow, I mean today, is my first day with a new company; my flights were delayed; they didn't have a rental car for me; I don't know a soul and, for God sake, I'm from New Hampshire. I. Need. To. Talk. To. Jane. Doe. Now...................Please.
Hotel Chick: Well, Ah'll trah her room and ask if it's okay to put you through.
Pam(through gritted teeth): That would be lovely. Thank you.
As you can imagine, Jane Doe accepted the call, ordered a taxi and I arrived at the hotel around 2:30 am. Now I had, roughly, 4 1/2 hours to get settled in, sleep, shower and get ready, have breakfast, and get to work. As I fell on the bed, I recall having clear visions of "Reasonable" with a furry hat and bad teeth, laughing it's ass off in a Russian accent while drinking really expensive vodka that was being charged to my hotel room.
To Be Continued with "My First Day, what else can go wrong".........
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