And now for something completely different....

If you have been lucky enough to NOT put up with my whining about various health issues over the past five years, let me catch you up: 2007, 2008, 2009 - Kidney Stone surgeries. 2010 - UPPP and Kidney Stone surgeries. 2011 - Kidney Stone surgeries. 2011/2012 - Herniated Discs and Arthritis in the Sacroiliac (SI) joints. Now you've caught up and I can begin the story.

To treat the Herniated Discs, I took oral steroids and went to five sessions of Physical Therapy. Not only did I not get the entertainment value of talking like Arnold Schwarzenegger, an explosion of muscles, nor did I experience 'Roid Rage' (Oooh, you may want to verify that last bit with my husband...) but the pain got worse and seemed to intensify in my right hip and leg.

From behind the safety of his 20 inch computer monitor (pet peeve, close the laptop when speaking to me please), the relatively recently-graduated "Doctor A" said the pain is coming from the herniated discs (even though they're herniated on the left and my pain is on the right) and he could do steroid shots in the two disc areas to see if that worked. Otherwise, he didn't seem to think it looked too bad. Dear Doctor A's Parents, You wasted a fair amount of money on med school for 'Boy Wonder'. Love, Pam.

"Doctor B" took tons of time to look at me, asked questions with the final one being "Has anyone ever X-Ray'd your hip?" When I answered "no", he shook his head and immediately took X-Rays. What they showed (Arthritis in the SI joints) made much more sense in relation to my pain. Recommendation? Novocaine and Steroid injection in the SI joint on the right side. More about Doctor B in the Epilogue next time.

"Alex, I'll take 'What Doctor B is selling' for $200"....

Fast forward a couple of weeks to yesterday when I went to the Pain Management Doctor and was sitting quietly in the waiting room. First, can I just ask - would it make anyone else nervous if you heard, say, a series of beeps that electronically unlock the door, allowing the Doctor to move from his Office to the Waiting Room? Or, is it just me?

At any rate, once in his office, he performed an extensive interview, looked at XRays, the MRI, and office notes from various other Doctors and the Physical Therapist. He spent about an hour and a half with me which ought to tell you something. He talked about the procedure he was suggesting (which was almost exactly what Doctor B prescribed). He said he would do an injection directly in to the right SI joint (If ONLY it meant Sports Illustrated. Alas, no...). The injection is a compound of three drugs: Novocaine, a Steroid and a Contrasting fluid. Since the entire procedure is done with a 'live' X-Ray of the area in question, the contrast is important so he can see exactly where the medication was going. The other two ought to be self explanatory.

Now, as a general rule, I think information is good. Information is our friend and a helpful friend at that. This having been said, my first comment after hearing about the procedure in detail was a standard speech about my unreasonably extreme fear of needles (aka Bu-Bye "helpful friend"). This prompted him to ask me a few more questions. He also told me he gives the injections on Tuesdays and Thursdays. He strongly suggested I sign up for Tuesday (today) so that the anxiety had less of a chance of hanging around long enough to give me a heart attack. Every fiber of my being was standing there, tail between its legs just begging for Thursday. Apparently, a NEW personality of mine (We'll call her Sybil for purposes of this story) is a loud mouthed so-and-so because she instantly drowned everyone else out and made me blurt out "Tuesday!!". Before I could explain to to the good Doctor that the newest member of the team spoke out of turn, the procedure was booked and I was being ushered out to the waiting area to read some paperwork before I left.

This morning, my eldest daughter was kind enough to pick me up at 7:15 but not before I was able to read a Facebook post regarding the size of the needle I could expect during this procedure. In her defense, this person thought I was already at the Doctor's office so it wasn't maliciously intended. I don't think I'm exaggerating when I say I was, at that point, a woman on the edge. 'Sybil???' I thought. 'Are you there Sybil?'. Apparently Sybil had the day off. I used to work for someone like Sybil. Start a fire and then drop out of sight and go MIA.

We arrived at the Clinic on-time, I filled out a little bit of paperwork and a few minutes later, someone swung open the Stainless Steel kick-plated doors and called my name.....

To Be Continued.....