Every August, for millions of people (including yours truly), excitement about the coming NFL season peaks. Nevermind opening the jar of peanut butter to see only the smooth expanse of a full season ahead; this jar is sitting on a grocery shelf, in the spotlight, and it's got my name on it. As I approach, I can even hear Madeline Kahn singing in the background "Ohhhh, sweet mystery of life at last I've found youuuuu".
September hits and the season opens. Just prior to game time, I could care less whether the Pats are going to win or lose, I'M GONNA' GET TO WATCH SOME FOOTBALL (and stare at Tom Brady for three hours just to sweeten the deal)!!! I'm making enough 'football food' for a small army while whistling and dancing around the kitchen.
Since I am a Patriots fan, for the first four or five games I'm still euphoric and the food keeps coming. It's early in the season, I'm again amazed at the coaching prowess of Bill Belichick and staff. It also amazes me how well each player responds to that coaching with his given strength or niche, all in the name of Team and Winning.
The Patriots kind of remind me of a bee or ant colony. There is a clear leader who is followed, without question. Everyone else has a specific role to play, they do it and do it well. If ever there is someone who does not buy in to or meet expectations, within the confines of the hive, they rip his head off and kick him to the curb. Nobody whines about it, nobody complains, it's simply a case of not allowing weakness in to the hive but I'm digressing....again.
Back to the season. Every week, we're served up an all inclusive cornucopia of football; The players, the coaches, the games, the post-game press conferences, interviews, top tens, weather conditions, injuries, returns, personal ups and downs, and even a weekly round of "C'mon Man". We are deluged with statistics and facts until we are bursting with them.
Speaking of statistics, is there anyone out there who doesn't want to punch the announcers in the head whenever they spout one off like "If he makes this pass it will be 184 games without an interception". Nine times out of ten, the very next play will end badly. Football fans, and I suppose those passionate about any sport, have a tendency to be superstitious. You simply do NOT jinx the team, the coaches, the players, the opposition or even the weather on a given day. WHY CAN'T THE FREAKING ANNOUNCERS LEARN THIS?
Am I digressing again? Oops.
The season. For 17 weeks, I am a glutton for football and can not get enough. At the end of week 17, like a hard core diet for someone who has been eating burgers and cokes their entire life, they start plucking it away. First, the Monday Night Countdown and subsequent game are yanked away. Next, your team is either done (in which case, you immediately move from diet to fasting and a deep, situational depression), or the playoffs start.
Playoffs. There are a couple of scenarios here.
First, if your team is lucky enough to get in as a Wild Card who has an actual chance, this is really the most you can hope for. It means they will play each weekend until they lose or until they win the Superbowl.
If your team gets a "bye", not only are you brought crashing back to reality by having a week where you watch teams you could have cared less about six weeks ago, but there's a lot LESS games to be had. The Pre-game shows have less material so they turn in to a love/hate fest for just a few teams and now the statistics border on ridiculous. "Did you know he is the ONLY player in the NFL ever to come from the North of Texas, who was born on July 4, 1976 to a couple who immigrated from Albania when the moon was in the 'Seventh House'?"
Really? I made food for this?
Still, if your team has made it this far, you're excited about the game (hopefully games), your emotions fly up and down with every play and, whether they win or lose, you're wiped out at the end of the game.
Let's speculate that your team actually makes it to the Superbowl. You're on the brink of being cut off from pre-game shows, games, post-game analysis, "C'mon Man" and staring at Howie Long on Sundays. Depressing at best. But there's still one final game at which you can look forward. The Mother of all games where even the TV commercials have potential to be laugh-out-loud funny. We don't count the Pro-Bowl because, unless you're actually IN Hawaii and attending the game, it's a non-entity and not worthy of discussion.
This is it. The food is fantastic, you get a decent pre-game and, after three plus hours of football, you are left with one of two things. If your team won, you enjoy watching the post game celebration, the presentation of the Vince Lombardi trophy, the presentation of the MVP Award and players with their families on the field. If your team didn't win, you're done. It's like running knowingly, full tilt, in to a brick wall. If you're anything like me, win or lose, you'll need a box of tissues.
Once all of this is said and done, it's more depressing than putting away Christmas decorations or throwing away that empty jar of peanut butter. Now, everyone has a seven month wait for it to start all over again.
Win or lose.
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