If the world was perfect....

Disclaimer time:  Before anyone gives me a hard time about there being so many more important things to worry about, I say this:  I'm very aware of what a horrible state the world is in now.  Famine, Disease, Natural Disasters; I could go on and on.  The reason I write these blogs is to, hopefully, make folks smile or laugh because laughter is one of the best survival tools EVER.  So please take what I write with a grain of salt and if, when reading these posts, your cares are eased even slightly - well, that's about as gratifying to me as it gets.

Now, back to our regularly scheduled program.

If the world was a perfect place, following are a few medications that would be in existence without creating any subsequent dependencies.

Emotionalreasonepherine - Take one tablet to relieve hasty decisions, words of regret (including those of anger, arrogance, jealousy or unfairness).  Possible side effects are clearer communication, conscience and healthier relationships.  Case Studies have proven this to be an effective medication.  It does not cause drowsiness, vomiting, diarrhea or heart attacks.

In the absence of the above referenced medication, the following can be taken:

Slapthemsillicodone - Take one tablet 'as needed' for relief of discomfort or anger brought on by one or more of the following:  Unspeakable people who commit crimes against children or animals.  Politicians, Uncaring, Offensive, Pompous, Unyielding or Idiotic people.  When taken, the offending party is immediately dropped through a trap door where they will sit in 'time out', listening to one of the following until they are rendered harmless:  Dr. Phil, Oprah Winfrey, Sarah Palin, Rachel Ray or Mike Tyson.

Abusilax - Available only in suppository form, it comes with the well known Actor "The Rock" as an applicator.  If you are a living creature (2 legged, 4 legged, finned, etc.) who is being abused verbally, emotionally or physically, simply snap open the blister pack. The Rock will appear with this in his rubber gloved hands and will administer it to the offending party.  From that point forward the offending party, when trying to inflict any type of pain on anyone, will only inflict pain on him/herself.  This has potential to ease a LOT of troubles in our society.  I see less divorces, less prison overcrowding, and most important, less people and animals crying or striking out instead of just enjoying their lives.

Now, maybe you have problems in your life that require a miracle pill promising a miracle cure that doesn't quite fit in the above categories, but that's kind of the point.  We've all got different struggles and problems and, usually, we know the solution.  The trouble usually comes in the application of said solution.  That, my friends, is what the professionals are for.  If you present the right professional with a problem and your miracle solution, they may not be able to make it come true but they're trained to show how YOU CAN GET THROUGH IT.

Finally, if all else fails, I've heard some really good things about Voodoo dolls.  Just sayin'.